MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY IN THE MODERN WORLD

47. The well-being of the individual person and of human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life. Hence Christians today [Dec. 1965] are overjoyed, as are all who esteem conjugal and family life, to witness the various ways in which progress is being made in fostering those [heterosexual] partnerships of love and in encouraging reverence for human life. There is progress too in services available to married people and parents for fulfilling their lofty calling; even greater benefits are to be expected and efforts are being made to bring them about.

However, this happy picture of the dignity of these partnerships is not reflected everywhere, but is overshadowed by polygamy, the plague of divorce, so-called free love, and similar blemishes; furthermore, married love is too often dishonoured by selfishness, hedonism, and unlawful contraceptive practices. Besides, the economic, social, psychological, and civil climate of today has a severely disturbing effect on family life. There are also serious and alarming problems arising in many parts of the world as a result of population expansion. On all of these counts an anguish of conscience is being generated. And yet the strength and vigour of the institution of marriage and family shines forth time and again: for despite the hardships flowing from the profoundly changing conditions of society today, the true nature of marriage and of the family is revealed in one way or another.

It is for these reasons that the Council intends to present certain key points of the Church’s teaching in a clearer light; and it hopes to guide and encourage Christians and all people who are trying to preserve and foster the dignity and supremely sacred value of the married state.

HOLINESS OF MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY

48. The intimate partnership of life and the love which constitutes the married state has been established by God, the Creator who has endowed it with its own proper laws: it is rooted in the contract of the partners, that is, in their irrevocable personal consent. It is an institution confirmed by the divine law and receives its stability, even in the eyes of society, from the human act by which the partners mutually surrender themselves to each other; for the good of the partners, of the children and of society. This sacred bond does not depend on human decision alone, for God is the author of marriage and has endowed it with various benefits and ends in view; all of these have a very important bearing on the continuation of the human race, on the personal development and eternal destiny of every member of the family, on the dignity, stability, peace, and prosperity of the family and of the whole human race. By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory. Thus the man and women, who “are no longer two but one” (Mt. 19:6), help and serve each other by their marriage partnership; they become conscious or their unity and experience it more deeply from day to day. The intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children demands total fidelity from the spouses and requires an unbreakable unity between them.

Christ our Lord has abundantly blessed this love, which is rich in its various features, coming as it does from the spring of divine love and modeled on Christ’s own union with the Church. Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Saviour, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of marriage. Christ dwells with them in order that by their mutual self-giving, they will love each other with enduring fidelity, as He loved the Church and delivered Himself for it. Authentic married love is caught up into Divine Love and is directed and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and by the salvific action of the Church, with the result that the spouses are effectively led to God, and are helped and strengthened in their lofty role as fathers and mothers. Spouses, therefore, are fortified and as it were, consecrated for the duties and dignity of their state by a special sacrament; fulfilling their conjugal and family role by virtue of this sacrament, spouses are penetrated with the Spirit of Christ and their whole life is suffused by faith, hope, and charity; thus they increasingly further their own perfection and their mutual sanctification, and together they render glory to God.

Inspired by the example and family prayer of their parents, children, and in fact everyone living under their family roof, will more easily set out upon the path of a truly human training of salvation and holiness. As for the spouses, when they are given the dignity and role of fatherhood and motherhood, they will eagerly carry out their duties of education, especially religious education, which primarily devolves on them.

Children as living members of the family contribute in their own way to the sanctification of their parents. With sentiments of gratitude, affection and trust, they will repay their parents for the benefits given to them and will come to their assistance as devoted children in times of hardship and in the loneliness of old age. Widowhood, accepted courageously as a continuation of the calling to marriage, will be honoured by all. Families will generously share their spiritual treasures with other families. The Christian family springs from marriage, which is an image of sharing in the partnership of love between Christ and the Church; it will show forth to all, Christ’s living presence in the world and the authentic nature of the Church by the love and generous fruitfulness of the spouses, by their unity and fidelity, and by the loving way in which all members of the family cooperate with each other.

Following our recent articles about the proper place for the celebration of Catholic weddings, we continue the series of articles in which we quote from the chapter dealing with the Dignity of Marriage and the Family. This is to make available to all our readers and their families the tenets of their faith as Catholics on this matter.

MARRIED LOVE

49. On several occasions the Word of God invites the betrothed (engaged) to nourish and foster their betrothal (engagement) with chaste love, and likewise the spouses their marriage. Many of our contemporaries, too, have a high regard for true love between husband and wife as manifested in the worthy customs of various times and peoples. Married love is an eminently human love because it is an affection between two persons rooted in the will which embraces the good of the whole person; it can enrich the sentiments of the spirit and their physical expression with a unique dignity and ennoble them as the special elements and signs of the friendship which is proper to marriage. The Lord, wishing to bestow special gifts of grace and divine love on it, had restored, perfected, and elevated it. A love like that, bringing together the human and the divine, leads the partners to a free and mutual giving of self, experienced in tenderness and action, and permeates their whole lives; besides, this love is actually developed and increased by the exercise of it. This is a far cry from mere erotic attraction, which is pursued in selfishness and soon fades away in wretchedness.

Married love is uniquely expressed and perfected by the exercise of the acts proper to marriage. Hence the acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honourable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude. Endorsed by mutual fidelity and, above all, consecrated by Christ’s sacrament, this love abides faithfully in mind and body in prosperity and adversity and hence excludes both adultery and divorce. The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection. Outstanding courage is required for the constant fulfillment of the duties of this Christian calling: spouses, therefore, will need grace for leading a holy life: they will eagerly practise a love that is firm, generous, and prompt to sacrifice and will ask for it in their prayers.

Authentic married love will be esteemed, and healthy public opinion will be quick to recognize it,

• if Christian spouses give outstanding witness to faithfulness and harmony in their love,
• if they are conspicuous in their concern for the education of their children, and
• if they play their part in a much needed cultural, psychological, and social renewal in matters of marriage and the family.

THE FRUITFULNESS OF MARRIAGE

50. Marriage and married love are by nature ordered to the procreation and education of children. Indeed children are the supreme gift of marriage and greatly contribute to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: “It is not good that man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18), and “from the beginning (He) made them male and female” (Mt. 19:4); wishing to associate them in a special way with his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). Without intending to underestimate the other ends of marriage, it must be said that true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it is directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Saviour, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.

Married couples

• should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to educate their children;
• they should realize that they are thereby cooperating with the love of God the Creator and are, in a certain sense, its interpreters. This involves the fulfillment of their role with a sense of human and Christian responsibility and the formation of correct judgements through docile respect for God and common reflection and effort; it also involves a consideration of their own good and the good of their children already born or yet to come, an ability to read the signs of the times and of their own situation on the material and spiritual level, and, finally, an estimation of the good of the family, of society, and of the Church. It is the married couple themselves who must in the analysis arrive at these judgements before God.
• Married people should realize that in their behaviour they may not simply follow their own fancy but must be ruled by conscience –and conscience ought to be conformed to the law of God in the light of the teaching authority of the Church, which is the authentic interpreter of divine law. For divine law throws light on the meaning of married love, protects it and leads it to truly human fulfillment. When Christian spouses in a spirit of sacrifice and trust in divine providence carry our their duties of procreation with generous human and Christian responsibility, they glorify the Creator and perfect themselves in Christ. Among the married couples who thus fulfill their God-given mission, special mention should be made of those who after prudent reflection and common decision courageously undertake the proper upbringing of a large number of children.

But marriage is not merely for the procreation of children: its nature as an indissoluble compact between two people and the good of the children demand that the mutual love of the partners be properly shown, that it should grow and mature. Even in cases where despite the intense desire of the spouses there are no children, marriage still retains its character of being a whole manner and communion of life and preserves its value and indissolubility.